The title already spoils enough, so I'll add that Santa Claus also wishes the Martians a Merry Christmas. That's how Santa works. He'll conquer your planet, and then push his own values on your people.
Considered one of the absolute worst movies of all time, 1964's Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' whole ethos can be summed up in a line from its children's choir-sung Santa theme, "He's fat and round, but jumps and sings." In other words, I'm not sure what this movie is really trying to tell me.
The story, insofar as it can be labelled as such, opens with an imaginative approach to Communist Red Scare paranoia. Under the oppressive rulings of Mars, Martian children have started rebelling by watching Earth's television programs. Chochem (The Ancient one), who looks and sounds a little like the dying Mystic in The Dark Crystal, tells the Martian leaders that the kids on their planet are too smart, while their young spirits have been crushed by dogmatic compliance. The kids deserve to have fun. The problem is obviously that Mars has no Santa Claus, which isn't fair, and the one from Earth must be kidnaped.
Of course, Santa Claus is pretty much a Communist with his red suit and ideals of wealth distribution, but we must pretend otherwise. Within this movie, he comes across as a nearly senile old man. He repeatedly tells jokes nobody laughs at, then he laughs at inappropriate moments, and can't adapt to Mars' high-tech toy making, which involves pushing a single button on a control panel. In his defence, he is not treated well. These Martians just want to help their kids, but aren't very skilled at foreign relations.
This script required two writers, and is at its best in its attempts to blow minds. The whole thing is set in the Martian month of "mid-Septober." An Earth newscaster editorializes, ""This appears to be an age where everything is vanishing into thin air." It's well established that there was a things-vanishing-into-thin-air Zeitgeist happening in 1964.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians was popularized in the '90s after it was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I don't feel it quite joins the ranks of other really bad movies like Troll 2 and The Room, which have such an off-balance view of how people behave that to watch them is to enter another dimension of sensory perception. This movie meets its ridiculous concept with cluttered cheap sets, eyebrow-raising dialogue and performances without a director's tone control. It's bad. If you're in a group of likeminded friends, it's fun. It also lacks the radicalism that made Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space more than just an incompetent expression, but sincere in its out-of-sync anger toward the atom bomb and in its sympathy for cultural outcasts.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is undoubtedly one of the stranger Christmas movies out there. As for me, my search for the holiday's true meaning won't be ending here.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and The Meaning of Christmas
Chochem (The Ancient One) - It is an occasion for great joy and peace on the planet Earth. And for children, it is also a time of anticipation as they await the arrival of Santa Claus, and his gifts.
Some Jerk - Bahh. What nonsense!
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